Some are hopeless romantics, but I'm a hopeless connector.
I can't help myself - I must personally connect with others and introduce others to one another for their own benefit.
But, what's the *real motive?
Do I truly do it for you, or do I do it for me? And does that matter? If I’m struggling to answer what the motive is and I’m torn, then therein lies the truth.
I want to serve you through this introduction, but I hypothesize that it will likely serve me later to serve you now.
Is that okay? Not okay?
Maybe this is simply a different form of delayed gratification, which many typically ascribe to a degree of maturity that's to be respected.
We praise people who clearly demonstrate a willingness to delay their own enjoyment of something and "put in the work" up front.
But does this get too uncomfortable when we realize this is intertwined with our relationships?
An interesting excerpt I found on this comes from Lori Richardson of Score More Sales, who has built a very successful sales leadership business. She said in an article from 2017:
"Always be clear about your expectations when you work with others. That way you won’t be disappointed. For example, I never expect someone I connect to someone else to do the same for me.
Instead it comes from elsewhere. Almost every week, someone I didn’t expect to connect with me does and I see that as a return of an earlier connection I made which had nothing to do with this one. It is like a universal law rather than a, “She owes me because I did X for her.” Just make connections and move on, expecting nothing from it other than good will."
I genuinely wrestle with this. I find Lori's take on this topic to feel warm a cuddly, but I'm not sure it's how I *actually approach this topic. Alternatively, I also do not hold these sorts of things over someone else's head.
I think the trick here is to build mutual respect with someone, and when you have provided value to them to expect that it may be returned at some point. No scoring system. No wins and losses...but serving them now does increase your chances of being served by them at a later date, and I'm okay with that.
-Stephen